Election Day, Same Street: Staying Kind Across a Ballot |
It's Election Day, and neighbors on both sides of the results will still share the same streets tomorrow. This week's practice: ask one more question before giving your own view. |
A Day That Asks Something of Us
Today is Election Day in Colorado. By tonight, many Centennial households will be watching for results, and by tomorrow some neighbors will be pleased while others are disappointed. Both groups will still share the same cul-de-sacs, school pickup lines, grocery aisles and HOA meetings next week.
That is worth sitting with for a minute. Elections sort us into yes and no, but neighborhoods don't work that way. The person whose yard sign you disagreed with might be the one who jump-started your car last winter or kept an eye on your house while you were away. A single vote rarely tells the whole story of anyone.
Kindness Is Not the Same as Agreeing
Being kind across a disagreement doesn't mean pretending you don't care how things turn out. You can hold a strong view and still treat the person across from you as someone with reasons of their own. Most people who vote differently from us are weighing many of the same things we are, like cost, safety, schools, roads and the future of the place they live, and simply landing somewhere else.
Fair-minded kindness also means letting the process finish. The Colorado Secretary of State's Election Day FAQ notes that voting closes at 7 p.m., and anyone in line at 7 p.m. can still cast a ballot. Counting continues after that. Waiting before declaring victory or defeat is a small act of respect for the voters and for the people doing the counting.
The Week After Matters Too
The conversations that shape a community often happen after the results: at the mailbox, in a group text, over coffee. That's where a sharp comment can linger for months, and where a generous one can quietly repair something.
It helps to remember the people who keep the system running, too. Those who staff voting centers and handle ballots put in long hours during election week, whatever the outcome. A simple thank-you costs nothing and lands well.
This Week's Practice: Ask the Second Question
When the election comes up with a neighbor, coworker or relative, try this:
Let the other person share their view or reaction first.
Before offering your own, ask one more question. "What made that one important to you?" or "How are you feeling about it?" both work well.
Listen to the answer all the way through, without planning your reply.
You don't have to change your mind, and you don't have to change theirs. The goal is just to understand one person a little better than you did before the conversation started. That's a modest aim, but it's how neighbors who disagree keep being neighbors.
Try it once this week. Then notice whether the conversation felt different, and whether you did. |
23 Comments
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Taking the time to hear someone out changed a fight with my sibling last time. Might have to try the second question trick.
It all feels a bit idealistic, but at least asking about why people care is better than shouting back and forth.
Trying to remember my neighbor’s a person and not just a sign in their yard. This helped a little.
If only more people thanked the poll workers, maybe fewer would quit. My aunt quit last year after being yelled at.
I disagree that everyone is just weighing the same things. Some issues just matter more to some folks. Still, kindness is never wasted.
You raise a good point, different issues do hold different weight for each of us, and kindness doesn't require us to minimize those differences, just to approach them with respect.
Loved the line about ‘a single vote rarely tells the whole story of anyone.’ That’s going to stick with me today.
My HOA email thread explodes after every election. Maybe I’ll suggest this approach next time.
I’ve actually had some good talks after elections before. Things calm down once the signs come down.
Good advice, just wish it was easier to put into practice when someone is rude. Still, worth a try I guess.
A thank you to the people at the voting center. My son brought them cookies last year and they were so grateful.
I’m skeptical. Feels nice in theory but folks online don’t seem interested in hearing other sides.
This is helpful. My workplace gets tense around elections. Will try asking the second question at lunch tomorrow.
Kinda wish more people read this and chilled out after the votes. Yard sign battles are out of hand in my cul-de-sac.
Love the suggestion to just ask how someone is feeling about it. I’m so used to arguing, maybe I’ll just try listening with my mom.
Waiting for the results is hard but it actually feels respectful. Good point about not calling it before the counting’s done.
Strong opinions here but I agree you can be decent about it. Tired of folks screaming in the comments everywhere.
It really does feel like everything is super divided, but we’re all still sharing this neighborhood. Guess that does matter more than who wins.
That's exactly the heart of it: while elections come and go, our shared neighborhood remains, and how we treat each other makes a lasting difference.
I like the part about asking why something mattered to someone. Makes sense, just listening instead of jumping in.
Thank you for highlighting that, sometimes a simple, genuine question leads to a much deeper understanding between neighbors.
Thank you to the election workers! My sister has been counting ballots for years and it’s a thankless job.
I needed this reminder honestly. My neighbor drives me nuts with his signs, but he also shoveled my sidewalk last month. Going to try showing a little more patience.